Walking above it all...

Monday night...

about 11pm right now...

sounds like im gonna talk about the news or something!

anyhows...

walking tall, n walking high, high above them damn clouds that just freak the hell out of it all...

had a very long time, finished work 20 minutes ago...damnit...im majorly beat...

i got the same workload pretty much this whole week....D A M N N! double N to justify the means!!!!!!!!!

anyhows...

putting all crap feelings and shit im going through, lets look for some bright light eh?...

otherwise ill just be writing about stuff i dont even wanna mention here..

so anyhows...

uhhhhh....

well, today i was informed about many things, some good, well it IS good, but the question i ask myself is WHATS GOING ON?!

my boss talked to me about a shitload of stuff today...

looks like im gonna be promoted soon!!! aint that lovely?!?!...well yeah it is, but no it aint...

promotion has alot of STRINGS attached to it...

hell ive been given quite a nice offer...pays significatly increased with less work-load...but the problem is what COMES WITH IT, IS "IT" itself!!!!

bummermania...

gonna have to do more work actually, theres no such thing as LESS HOURS in a higher placed job-status in my books...been there, done that...

soooooooo..

i havent really thought it out, and actually gotta talk with me lovely ma about this...need some advice, and nobody better than mom...so gonna talk to her later about this whole thing...

if you wanna think about the good side, its more pay, but money aint everything so blah...

im thinking farther farther ahead...otherwise i wouldnt be where i am at a young age eh?....a little brag, ehem ehem...anyways...

so, im worried about other things too...if i go ahead with it, means im gonna be changing alot of what I currently do, the way im doing my work will have to change, and also means im gonna have more people to deal with under me and and and...its gonna be a freakin headache from many ways....from meetings to this and this and that...hell i LOVE THAT STUFF!!!!!!!!!! HAHA!!!!

but just the thing i dont wanna do, is im gonna have to do a crapload of paperwork to make sure everything is in order, and this and that...oh damn...lots of stuff...

i suck at paperwork, cuz i hate paperwork...hell even when i took the job, i told the person in charge "i DONT and am NOT good in paperwork"!....so till now, i still told the boss the same damn thing, and ive been told "not to worry about it, FOR NOW"...haha...that "for now", is scary aint it?....

im just a practical person rather than theory based shit...never liked that stuff...

anyways, it comes with the new title...

but i still gotta wait confirmation from the MAIN people in charge of this joint, it aint confirmed till the MAIN freaks say "GO WITH IT!"....

if that happens, damn man...thats quite......funky...

and to be honest with "myself", i had the idea that thats where they want me to be after i work here for couple of years...so seems my intuition is dog-gone RIGHT!! damn, thank god for small favors of mind eh?...

anyhows, uhhhhhh....one of the main things that i dont like that position is cuz ill have to change the way i work around here, its not that its negative, but just the CHANGE....i dont like to change things around if its not meant to be changed or for no good reason.....but it is a good reason to change aint it?...

im just thinking "down-lows", just to understand my situation better...

cuz me personally, thats what ive been working so hard for since i got here anyway!!!!!!! haha...lovely....

i just hope that this "main head" people, will say the GO!!! that way, i can carry on with this stuff ASAP!....id like to get over with this stuff before i go back home this summer....hopefully things will be done by then...if not, then when i get back or whatever...

just dont like "blabber talk" that takes so long to actually work through...but hey, maybe its time....thank god for LARGE favors again...

but still NONETHELESS, i gotta talk with ma about this shit...need some advice, dont wanna big this big decision without talking it through...since no close friends around, its a good idea to talk with someone wiser about things than i am...

bummermania...

hmmmm....putting work shit aside...what else is new...uhhhhhhhhhh

ah ha...well, i was so busy today, i didnt have time to have lunch or dinner...i just opened a can of corn, jotting in through it like the can itself was an appetizer haha....damn....gotta fix more time for food...bummer...

oh , and aahhhhhhhhhh....this morning, or actually early afternoon, i just , ahhhh...had the worst 30 minutes of my day....just majorly messed up my day...it overweighs the good news....damnit....

regarding the prob ive been dealing with for almost 2 months now...its killing me, and eating me alive....i cant say bummer, cuz its just out of that......

ah well....dont know what to do with it....what a mental killer, hell its physical still cuz my backs still killing me...

crap-o-molly...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......

well i got some tea i made very early this morning, got super cold cuz didnt drink it...but now tastes like ice-tea, which i prefer, but im afraid to drink it, then wont sleep tonight...gotta hold back...

ah well, i gotta go do something before i get some shuteye...im tired...

cya peeps, have a good one...

Abius