In my memory...

well...

friday night...

another day, another day....another day....

nothing that lovely n great to talk about...yet still, battling my way each day to go through whatever im going through...

feeling quite homesick, feeling quite lonely...very down past 2 days...very...

trying to cheer up in any way....tried what usually cheers me up ...but to no avail...nothing working...even...not working...

havent felt this way in a very very long time, maybe a couple of years...and i know whats causing it, but...not gonna say it...

still....just wish ive a close friend to talk to...what a problem that is isnt it?...when you want to express your heart, and say whatever you want to say....you just simply cant because nobody there to listen...

you know, sometimes the best listeners are people u never met or dont know...just crying out what your heart desires and wants...

how akward...

anyways...maybe just too many things on my mind and just dont know what to do with it...cant really say whats on my mind either cuz just no presence to say it to...

ahhh...cant touch the sky...what a limit...

im feeling very sleepy these days, not getting enough sleep, and my back is seriously acking...i think im under much stress from feeling this way...its emotional, and seems to be getting to me physically...

pinpointing the reasons why, i know what they are exactly...to the every detail i know...mmmm....

ahhh, dont know what to say...sometimes we are just too stubborn to realize things, to stupid to actually know whats going on...we see it, yet dont see it...staring at us in the eye, yet not visible to our true heart...

mmmm...that and not that...complicated isnt it?...its just more to it than you think, and not just related to one thing, yet a group of things that just combine together...

its really not a lovely thing...all things bad usually happen to me at once rather than in parts...maybe its a good thing, maybe its a bad thing...depends how you look at it...

just....ah...silence is golden...damn this...

nobody truelly understands, and we all have our own problems dont we?....yes indeed we do...indeed we do...indeed...........we do....

well...maybe this is just me talking to myself, reading out what i have to say to myself somehow, someway, whatever way...

i self-reflection to my own inner self....

whether its of happiness, excitement, sadness, hate, anger...whatever feeling, i express still...

is it truellly expression?...somehow in a little way, it is...is it truelly what i wish to express? no it is not...

for far more is not what it seems...

a mirror reflecting now what is wishes to reflect, not what it wishes its own owner to see...wishing this reflection would change somehow, yet expection is held upon one person, only.....

me.......